Someone loves their nests

Charlie is diggin his little pile of blankets. He wrapped himself like a little burrito then began to self-reflect once this task had been completed. Basking in this new accomplishment, he now knows that he must raise the bar in order to keep his audience pleased.

Sheesh, has it really been this long

It would seem it has been quite some time since my last post...the problem lies in the fact that facebook is easier to post my fun facts and mockings along side photos of my meanderings and wanderings. Now I just downloaded a new iPhone app to update this sucker on the fly with photo evidence...let's give her a whirl.


A picture if my press is the first test photo...i know she's makes you feel all weird and tingly...giggity.

Comic Con '09- part 4 of 4

wrapping up the whole comic con experience took a bit of time. it was many nights (ok...one) sifting through thousands of pictures (maybe 40). Enjoy the last part of this yearly expedition...soon enough i will go back to mocking my own children in all their shenanigan glory.


Cort hanging out with Bender from Futurama...A rare picture indeed. Not because of a most likely middle aged man parading around in a costume he sewed himself, but because Cort doesn't like being in my pictures anymore. Somehow he became a "big-boy" this year and is too old to have a picture taken next to comic book characters and "b" movie actors. It reminds me of the movie "Hook", starring Robin Williams. When Peter grew up he no longer had an imagination and couldnt see many of the wonderful delights in neverland....Cort has parralled this movie and i fear very soon he too will stop remembering, and will fade away into a world of more grown up things. But for now, he gives me a hang ten hand sign (having been to Hawaii all of one time) and smiles for the camera.


Travis is smiling cause only he knows where batman's right hand is.......giggity.


This guys costume rocked...genius through and through. when his back is to you, you realize it's a big refrigerator box he has cut open and paper-mache'd the front. I cant mock such ingenuity and simplistic execution...kudos my friend...freaking kudos.


"Holy-no-one-around-you-really-knows-who-you-are-dressed-up-as-and-most-likely-have-never-seen-a television-show-staring-any-of-you-Batman!" Im sure most of younger kids have no knowledge of the original campy Batman series and the characters they brought to life, so taking this photo for historical preservation purposes was more of a duty rather then meeting a mocking quota. (The guy on the far right is the Green Hornet...im just guessing many of you didn't know that)


I wonder if superman's x-ray vision can see silicon very well...as you can tell, he seems to be searching for a solution to that very question.

Comic-Con 09' - part 3 of 4

I was in a hurry to take this picture of Thor as the crowds pushed both directions like a rushing river...but not so clean nor refreshing...hence the blurriness of the image. I lost Cort for a few minutes amidst the roving crowds of nerds and he somehow was able to find his way back to me just in time to be in this photo. He didnt want to frighten The God of Thunder, so Cort quietly poked his head from behind this mighty norsk demi-god's shadow.


Feakin Kratos from "God of War". This guy was hired to be part of the "God of War III" unveiling this year. He stood next to the area where the game was being played and posed for pictures. He's a pretty big dude and his costume was pretty well done comparatively speaking to the homebrew of costumes that were there. Even the "exceptionally elephantine" woman in the background was pretty impressed and couldn't stop staring...or maybe she just thought he was a powdered donut....


Girls dressed from the first 3 indiana jones movies in successive order, left to right. I dont recall the creepy-hot nazi chick from the third movie being so short....mmmm...creepy-hot nazi chick.....She was awesome, cept for the whole semi-devotion to Hitler and stuff.


we saw this chick outside getting this costume on and i was pretty surpized how well it came together in the end. Its Jazz....from the Transformers new and less-improved cartoon series. The new series is all anime' style with strange big heads and exaggerated expressions. Its like watching old speed racer cartoons but with even less effort put forth in the animation....yes, few people will understand this reference, i know...but if you do get it, then you understand how scathing that last remark was.


Cort is gleefully showing his love for some man-junk as he "poses" with the legendary "He-ro" statue. "He-ro" you say? who is "He-ro"...well let me tell you if you dont know. He-ro is a legendary warrior from He-Man's family tree. He was a powerful wizard that called upon the powers of grey skull not to become a ripple of muscular stature, but a more powerful wizard. That's some brilliant writing, i know. I think at some point the "writers" of He-man (and i use the term "writers" very loosely) were just having a hard time coming up with story lines week after week and someone, who most likely had just taken a massive dose of cough medicine, said "why dont we come up with another He-man, but not He-man". He-ro was born.

Comic-Con 09' - part 2 of 4

The original "Lois Lane", Margot Kidder. Years after the" Superman" movie series she went a bit nutty, faked her own death, and was found naked in a strangers backyard trying to evade "them". yeah....all in all, not so much a happy ending. But hey, she's healthy enough to be at a comic con collecting bank on her signatures and being appreciated by those who at one time most likely had dirty thoughts with her being the central figure...yeah....i said it, but we were all thinking it (well, the guys at least....probably a girl or two as well...).


I often wondered at point does wearing tight, form fitting costumes, stop being a way to pay homage to a favorite superhero/comic character and start being to just be a tad homo-erotic. I believe I unwittingly stumbled upon that answer.


Villains from the cartoon "Ventures Brothers". Again, with this picture, i may be playing to only a select crowd of those viewing this blog. The cartoon is hilarious...and how can you not want to watch a show that features "the monarch" as an arch villain...c'mon, its a freakin bad guy that utilizes a butterfly as his symbol of doom.


Comic-Con features not only people dressing up as modern characters from movies/comics, but also of past cult-flavored movies as well. "Spaceballs" is a fantastic movie that should be required by every school's curriculum and be forced upon all children. Here we see what the characters would look like if they were older and less "physically inclined". all except "Barf', the dog/human...he looks younger and slimmer then the movie character he came as.


Im pretty sure these young ladies were hired as part of some presentation because i cant imagine a group of girls, from say a book club, got together and were like "lets go to comic con this year and dress up as disney princesses from various movies over the years...and lets make sure we really whore it up...". As you can imagine, based on the setting, they were quite the hit either way.

Comic-Con 09' - part 1 of 4

so it begins.....


Kevin Sorbo...thats right...I actually know who he is. When we lived in Utah we got three channels on our television. Of those three channels only one came in clear. That clear one was essentially a channel devoted to this guy. He was in 2 series that had a few years in production then they forced it in syndication on a nightly basis in 4 hour blocks...my rage and utter discontent for these shows...his shows...was pale by comparison to the foul language that that would pour through my lips on a nightly basis that coincided with his shows airing schedules....but i soon learned what the TV executives knew all along, that i too would grow to no longer hate him, but embrace that which was Kevin Sorbo, in all his poorly produced television glory. To not only enjoy the ridiculous action sequences, the laughable effects and silly dialog, but to become saturated with terrible entertainment and actually begin to like it.....i had become a fan. Now, he attends comic conventions and hocks signatures for 35 bones a pop....well worth it my friends...well worth it.


This costume was actually pretty cool. Its what Iron man would look like if his armor had been produced during the victorian era and was run on steam. Now, judging by the girth of the fellow and the tedious detail involved in this outfit, I bet he had plenty of time to create what is essentially a pretty well crafted work of art...To begin, im sure his mother's basement had plenty of space to lay everything out before assembly, thus helping with the final detailing. And again, Im just guessing on this, but i can't imagine his day planner was full of any activity that would require some sort of laborious undertaking and/or social interaction that could have potentially distracted him from creating this fine costume. Kudos....


Adam West....awesome. He's played the same character since the 60's and he is still making money at it. I wonder at what point did he just say "screw it, i cant get any other work so im freakin batman dammit!"


These guys are from a video game called "Fallout"....yeah...i like comic books and video games. Yes, im glowing nerd.


This is me and the Allreds, Mike and Laura. Mike created a fantastic comic book years ago called "Madman" and has since expanded his empire into other ventures. I met these guys while on my mission in Oregon. I first met Laura at a church function. It was a Christmas potluck dinner and it was my first week in a new area. I sat at a table with my companion, and we sat alone. The members in this particular Ward did not like missionaries based on the last few who had coasted through...probably because they were asses who picked up on the teenage girls in the Ward (if only i was exaggerating). Once the dinner had started i noticed a little family arriving fairly late. it was a shorter woman wearing a black mini skirt, leopard printed shirt and a kerchief around her neck. Like a bombshell walking out a 1950's flick. she scurried her 3 little children in and began to look for a place to sit. Unfortunately for her, my table was wide open and it had plenty of room for her and her children. we exchanged pleasantries and i asked what her husband did for a living, as he was going to be arriving late and really "didnt like church functions". she replied he was a comic book artist and he created "Madman".....lucky for me i knew that comic well and we started talking "shop". She was hilarious and had so many great stories about the industry, as she was heavily involved in helping her husband with his art. When her husband finally arrived, apparently just to grab some pie and then bail again, she made sure she introduced me as a guy who "knew all the artists". needless to say, i enjoyed their company and had the pleasure of visiting their home on a few occasions and bumming some food off of them while visiting. Im sure they probably didnt remember me all that well and Laura looks like she has just been threatened with bodily harm in order to get a picture with her and mike, but they did bring back some great memories.

Virginey - part II

So this is part 2 of the trip to VA, but these arent actually photos from Virginia, these are from Baltimore...but its pretty much the same place just as long as you add the aroma of a rotting corpse that has been floating downstream on a hot east coast summer day. The kind of saturating smell that sticks on your skin like tar from the road.


We went to the Baltimore Aquarium as part of the festivities. Simon and Melissa are posing fro the camera while a drunken charlie is trying to figure out how he got there. the show was a sensory onslaught of bad music followed by a dolphin flipping in the air...one time...that was the show. Music, "save our oceans" one-liners, and a dolphin flip. It was like having paid for a movie and once you actually understand what the movie is about, the credits roll. Perhaps the reason why the show was so bad was because they got the "corky" dolphins. As if there was some sort of central pot of all the dolphins to be used in the various "sea shows" around the US and the Baltimore Aquarium was like..."hey why dont we just get the retarded ones, we can get twice as many cause no one really wants them...."


My boys chillin on a bridge that connected 2 parts of the Aquarium. Even at rest, they exhibit the Clater genome. Thats some powerful genetics right there.


I find it useful as well as fun to explain where food comes from to my children. Simon is at an age where he is making the connection between cows and burgers and chickens and nuggets. Although he understands the food chain to an extent, he is still a bit hesitant to go near the tank and confront his meal in its almost natural habitat. Charlie seems to have no such dilemmas and is licking the glass as the fish swim near.


Charlie is watching his back even though there is about 6 inches of glass separating him from the inhabitants of the tank. He already understands that you never trust an animal that cant naturally blink....especially one that is so tasty when a little butter is added.

Travelin' to Virginia and such...

Traveling on an airplane with children is the stuff nightmares are made of. We have had our ups and downs with it pending where we lived at the time and how long the fights were, but i think at this point my boys are old enough to just chill out and not be bouncing howler monkeys.


Simon does a great impression of the end sequence of "Staying Alive" while walking through the airport, where John Travolta is asked what he's going to do next after he just got done pushing his dancing tights to their limits. As it were...he feels "like struttin'....." Charlie immediately recognized the impression and started to act it out......
...cue the BeeGees....


Once on the plane, Charlie plugged in his headset to rock out. Unfortunately the only thing playing was "Vincent" by Don McLean, repeating over and over again. Charlie was not very amused...and its just a downer of a song all around...you know...all about struggling and toiling and then dying alone only to be appreciated once your dead...mmmm...insane artists.


With the 5 hour flight over and hitchin a ride on a free shuttle, the boys are a bit overwhelmed by seeing so much greenery..and trees, and open space....and people who don't look like barbie dolls. Simon's system went into shock with such an overwhelming discovery and retreated into his happy place until we reached our destination.


"Seriously charlie...this Museum was in that craptastic Michael Bay movie..."Transformers 2"... Ever heard of it? It was in that scene with the SR-71 "Decepticon" that they woke up, but was actually a good guy, which somehow transformed from the plane to an old robot with a cane...cause that made perfect sense...robots growing old and all. Seriously...it was that black plane right behind us....i know...that movie sucked monkey balls...but it had...explosions? and things blowing up? and poor dialog delivered by mediocre actors....yeah...i understand why you stopped listening to me..."

Finally....it begins!

Its taken a while to get around to updating this sucker. I wish I had some long valid explanation, but unfortunately being lazy doesn't seem to fit the bill in regards to a suitable excuse....yep...pure laziness. When I finally do get some spare time I really weigh the options as to how to fill said time...update our family blog, or just stare off into space occasionally wiping the drool from the front of my shirt...its sad, yes I know this. Anyhow...enjoy a few posts. I will be adding my COMIC-CON 2009 images soon enough and you too will delight in the horror.


Simon decided he wanted to grow up and be the best skipping rock ever. He bailed while pushing a baby's toy shopping cart behind our house and tripped sliding across the pavement like a smooth flat stone would across a placid lake. The healing process had not yet begun so we were privileged to photograph the subject with the skin freshly pulled from his face. It really doesn't look all the bad, but the scabs were freakin' sweet.


Charlie was entered into the "Red Head" contest at the local strawberry festival. Once he was up there on stage with all the other ginger kids, i realized he really isnt all that red, but no one came close to the mop-fro hair he was sporting that day...and he lost too. In reality, I was kinda relived...cause who really wants that kind win in their books? "I was the gingeriest kid at a ginger kid festival". Thats like saying I had the best limp at a limping festival.


Something seems different in this photo that is out of place. It's hard to put my finger on it, but I see two relaxed, happy children smiling for a camera in the arms of their grandparents who were visiting that day....oh...and then there's the fruit of the devils loins in the middle of it all, screaming profanities and reminding our waiter that his soul will be on the menu that night instead of the normal mundane selection. My brother in law calls it Abby, but i think it's real name is secretly "Legion...(for they are many)". After i captured the demons image on my crappy camera phone, I waited patiently for her head to spin around and pea soup to be projectile vomited across the table, but much to my disappointment, that never occurred.


You see me smelling this cupcake...you likey? you want some? oh...I wont eat it all...I promise, just a small bite here and little nibble there. I'll save you some...


HAHAHA-NONE FOR YOU!....(nom, nom, nom, nom)