"No Mr. Bond...i expect you to die...."
(notice that the guinea pig is in a plastic container normally reserved for the carrots you buy to feed the various animals...he has issues with rodents sitting on his lap. This was the only way he would allow it.)
We wanted simon to experience the great outdoors....so we paid for a ride on a small pony where he was buckled with 5 different belts, then lead by the trainer around in a circle trailed by melissa and charlie all along the way. Take a deep breath of that controlled environment air.....thats right, we're hardcore.
They also had a turtle....which sat there and looked at his food. like watching water boil.
"Hey turtle....c'mere....move or something....hey...look at my finger...my worm-like finger dangling in your habitat...look at it moving...drawing your attention, you know you want to bite it...come get it....it looks oh so tasty.......MOOOOOOVE!."
"Seriously?......seriously? you brought me here....to this? a freakin turtle that stares off into space. Where am i?....a nursing home?..get me out of here and you'd better damn well buy me a quesadilla."
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